Thursday, 26 February 2015

Stumbling Upon Unseen Secrets- 2

Checking behind me frantically I shoved my body against the door. I even tried banging, hoping that my mother would wake up and open it. But to me, it felt like I was invisible. I felt helpless ... like horrible things have been set in motion and I was no force to change that. And then, something changed.

It took my a minute to realize it but when I did, I knew not to turn back. The dogs had stopped howling, the wild breeze was silent. It seemed as though everything here was on the side of the invisible force and I was on the other end. What was I fighting this unseen force with? A screwdriver. I was fumbling with the screwdriver to lever the door open and right now that was all I had. 

I drew a long breath and turned around hoping to see some ugly creature, a shadow figure, a dark entity. But nothing could've prepared me for what I actually saw. I saw myself.
It wasn't a mirror reflection, it wasn't an exact replica. Something was distinctively different, but it was me. I could sense an instant connection, some fragments of an old and forgotten past. While I was wondering why I couldn't see this version of myself before, she talked. My arm instantly extended to jab her with my screwdriver, but she dodged so swiftly that I had to blink to understand what had just happened. 

When she talked, it sounded more like a melody. Her voice, the tone, the choice of words, all flowed into a beautiful song. And because I understood it, it sounded even more beautiful. It had a unique harmony... almost like the ones the dogs were howling away every night. 'The dogs' I thought to myself. As if she heard me, she moved to make way for me as I walked to the railing. I looked below but the dogs I had seen earlier weren't there. I glanced back at her. I cocked my neck like bird and looked closer at her. Her eyes... they were brown like mine. But they reminded me of someone else. No, something else. Then it dawned. I struggled with myself to get a few words out to her. 

Swallowing hard and clutching my stomach that was caving in, I whispered. It cut through her melody with a flat, insensitive tone, but I was glad I had succeeded. 
'Are you a personification of the dogs?' 

Wait a bit to know what happens next.   

Friday, 20 February 2015

Stumbling Upon Unseen Secrets

Time slipped away slower than the pendulum as I tossed about in bed. No amount of rearranging my pillows or shuffling the sea of sheets was helping me tonight. And so I lay there, reminiscing on abstract phases of my life, when it all began.

Fishing for my phone, I eventually found it at my feet. '1:30 AM'. I sighed to myself. The street dogs had begun their choir practice ... again. This is was a routine observation I made. The howling always began around 11:30 pm and went on till 2:30, every hour on the hour. This annoying habit of the dogs broke my attempts at sleeping almost every day. But today, I wasn't going to try and sleep. Today, I was going to see what the noise was all about and instead lay my curiosity to sleep.

I padded my away across the house, feeling colder than usual. One quick scan at the dark spaces and I was at the window that was letting a cold draft in. I slid it shut as slow as I could, glancing at the sight outside. The empty streets where lit golden, the trees were at complete standstill and yet there was a draft. The dogs were howling away at a plot outgrown with weeds and whatnot. I squinted and looked on hoping to catch some movement. I got nothing. I needed to get closer.
Pulling the sleeves down my arms, I hugged myself and made my way to the kitchen balcony which, I assumed, would offer the perfect view. The howling continued. 'Longer than usual'. 

All caught up in the rush of excitement, I closed the door behind me and leaned over the railing from my fourth floor. More dogs had gathered now, some barking, some howling and some just watching. Well, I was watching too. A sudden breeze picked up and ruffled my clothes a bit. I held my breath as the howling fell into a perfect harmony with my deep, slow heartbeat. I watched on unblinkingly afraid to wake up and chalk this all up to a dream. The dogs shifted themselves into a semicircle and paused before they moved in unison, maintaining the formation, the open end facing me.

My knuckles turned white as the temperature fell and I tried to keep clam as the dogs moved towards my building. There was obviously some force in the circle and this was obviously something I did not want to watch any longer. I didn't want to get any closer. I detached myself from the railing and reached out for the handle when it struck me.
'Holy crap' I muttered.

Our flimsy lock worked in a way that you always pull it shut to lock it and turn the key to unlock it. But I was on the other side of the door. The dogs didn't stop. Some barking, some howling and some just watching. But now, I was panicking.

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Wednesday, 16 July 2014

The Night-03

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My eyes widened turning my pupils pitch black. I knew my teeth were barred and growing, preparing to shred the feast before me. While I pulled out the red stain cloth from my pocket, the wolves howled in harmonious symphony. The sound tugged at my heart, striking the undeniable chords I had with my animal brothers. As I tied her wrists together, my morphing turned full to reveal claws instead of palms and fingers. I had outgrown my apparels and I knew what a frightening image I must be. ‘I’m a beast’

I shot a look at her. Rigid and perplexed, “Don’t give up now
She still remained herself despite the sudden turn of events. Her eyes held me in a world of their own and her face was a stretched sheet of expressionless skin. My eyes darted from her neck, to her heaving chest, to her slender waist and back up to her eyes. She was flawless, a perfect meal dished out, and ready for the taking. But I had to focus…
 All I had to do was sink my teeth in the smooth flesh and satisfy myself.

“Please don’t do this” Her words, were like wind chimes in the wind as I paused in the act of biting through her ankles. I glanced up right in time to watch a tear squeeze down her left cheek.
“If you’re the beast, let me be your beauty”
This was not the way I had pictured it. Usually I brought the girls up here because they’d throw such a fit. Scream, yell, wriggle like a choking fish  which only pumped my adrenaline more. But this one, from the moment I laid eyes on her was different…
“What are you suggesting?” I asked, well knowing that I was astray from my fortnight ritual.
“You are probably a pro at this, you kill girls I assume… let me live, and I’ll stay by your side forever. Kill me and you’ll be alone all your life, and you’ll lose out on the love I have yet to give. I love you” She paused, then added  “For what you are”

The ominous silence was broken by the hoot of a pygmy owl right overhead.  Something drastically changed in the atmosphere around me… almost like my curse was lifted. I felt my second teeth slide back in and my hands returning. My heart skipped into beat and my pupils faded to their standard grey. Could I have a shot at the famous love these mortals speak of? I leaned over her from above and cut through the cloth. Kneeling in front of her I gazed into her eyes.
“I don’t know if you trust me, but I really didn’t want to kill you.” Saying so I clasped her hand, rubbing the underside of her wrists.
‘What in the world?’ Something was not right. I pushed my thumb harder into her wrist, finding her pulse.

It was just not there. She had no heartbeat.

In a fraction of a second I was under her mercy. Her hands grasped at my arms, tying me down with one swift action. The perfect face I knew lost its glow, growing paler by the moment till her blue veins stood out. Her fingers turned long and spidery but I felt her strength overpowering me. I should’ve known this all long. This was utter stupid of me. She chuckled again, but it wasn’t like a child.
“Immortal enemies meet once again!” She spoke, but her voice wasn’t like wind chimes.  I thought I was hunting her down, but she was smart enough to beat me to it.
“But…” I stammered “You ate food, you let down a tear” These were the things that never made me think what she really was. A Vampire.
She gave me no time to think or say my last words. My head was forced upwards, she leaned in, reminding how she had meant to attack before. My thoughts were fading as her fingernail broke open my skin and let the warm blood ooze. She kissed the searing cut making her poison spread in an instant. I looked at her for once last time, my blood smeared over her pale face.
“Yes, red does suit me. That’s why I bathe in it” she finished before my world crumbled to the void and she proceeded to relish her victory of the new night.

Monday, 14 July 2014

The Night- 02

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“Here?” She said the word with such slack that clearly revealed how disappointed she was. I looked all around. This was one place not many got to see… it was special to me. I had waited so long to bring her here, because the moment had to be right.
“She’s just not ready like you are”

“ Oh,.. I guess this is the point where I realize we are on different levels” I said, again more to myself. My point of the statement was made, her eyes softened and she put one hand over mine.
“I’m sorry… When you said dessert… well I was imagining dessert! Not a garden!”
          The forces in my mind were at it again. Trying to reply and comment within my head. I could almost picture two miniatures on either side of my head directing me towards right and wrong.
‘Dessert was my idea, who said anything about where?’ the tongue of my dark side was getting too long. Fortunately her touch made him vanish.
“In fact we could’ve gotten a sundae here and had it.” She found a fallen, defeated log ruled by moss and unexpectedly sat on it.
“The moon… is it true that many writers keep her as their muse?” She beckoned me over plainly with a question. My urges were crossing the safety wall. Every little thing she did, and every detail fueled me, to pursue her further.  In her eyes, I was an abstract thinker and a writer. ‘Just a little more time’ I thought, looking at the waning moon.
“You could say that, for me the moon means just so much more…she's my teacher” I swallowed hard, trying to keep the war in my head as low as it could be.
“Tell me about how you found me” she quickly diverted. I was within arms length as she tugged at my grey sweater to sit down.  ‘How in the world can I resist her?
“I didn’t happen to find you… I’ve been trudging in the shadows for long, watching you… wanting you.” The truth was slipping fast, but the time wasn’t right yet for all of it. I was worrying now. ‘She’s going to hate me for who I am’. I sighed heavily.

“Like a prey?”
The miniature devil answered in my head for her- ‘Bingo’
When I didn’t reply, she scooted away from me. She measured me with her capturing eyes. She surprisingly didn’t bolt out of the scene.
“What are you? Some crazy stalker?” she spat the last three words. I knew she was smart…just not smart enough to avoid me.
“I wish it was that simple…” I found myself saying as I glanced at the moon. Midnight was when I planned the magical moment.
“Then tell me, whatever it is” her face sloped down again, and her touch felt lighter over my thigh.

I debated if I should. It’d just spoil the element of surprise. So I kept her waiting for my words. She then leaned in, hoping to share a moment. But the exact moment the moon turned full, I knew there was no turning back. I decided to come clean.
“This is the real me. And you my love, are my dessert.”

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The Night- 01

I watched out the see through glass walls as I waited for her to come. Finally, after so many days, the night had come where she agreed to dine with me. There was probably an ounce of doubt that she wouldn't appear, but then, the next few minutes not only cleared it but pulled me into another thought process.

Gosh, red really suits her” I found myself saying as she crossed the road to the cafĂ© where I waited. She was dainty, yet strong; childlike but alluring, pushing and pulling all at the same time. Over the days that I had made my existence known, she became more than someone I've been watching. I needed, like…literally needed her.

The door pushed open and the bell snapped me out of my thoughts, marking her entry. I wished I could just turn invisible for a minute to see if she’d find me. To convince myself that something greater was a part of this, like destiny.
“No, this is all you, you wanted her and the universe has been grateful”
She arched her long neck towards my direction and trotted down the aisle like a graceful deer. I knew my eyes had lit up, and she had made note by smiling immediately.

‘Sorry I’m late! You know… work” she slumped into the booth and shoved all her belongings into the corner. ‘Were you waiting long?’
‘For you…?’ I started and she responded with raised eyebrows prompting me.
‘Or for tonight?’ I finished waiting for her answer. She was smart like that. The question hung mid-air for a while before she chuckled breaking the silence that often cloaked me.
             ‘Don’t they both mean the same?’ she said dividing her gaze between me and the approaching waitress.
‘They’re very different’ I shrugged saying it more to myself than to her. She seemed oblivious to what I had said. As I pretended to asses my menu card, she dished out her favorites, eyes gleaming, voice laying stress on words. “Gosh, she’s perfect
Only when she flapped the card in front of me like a tantrum throwing kid did I realize the waitress was still waiting for my order. I pointed to a dish and went back to watching her.
‘Are you dieting? Even I don’t diet!’ she said laughing at her own talk.
“Well, I don’t have much of an appetite for Italian” I hoped I was convincing enough.
“Plus, I’m making room for dessert” I threw in. There… that ought to do it.

“Are we going somewhere else for dessert?” the tone of her voice changed, going high pitched like a delighted child.
“I might have something in mind?” I said in a rush.  What I had in mind made my pulse quicken… I calmed it down  :‘Everything in its own time’

Friday, 11 July 2014

Betting on Glances

I watched absently as he set his small establishment alongside the busy street, across from where I sat with my coffee. It consisted of a charcoal fuelled stove, long and cylindrical, black with soot. Beside that stood a high chair, with legs and cushion also sooty black. A table completed the establishment where a weigh-scale was the only prominent thing I could see from far.
             The flames were licking the brim of the huge ‘kadai’ filled with oil, and while it was heating the man went about doing his routine work. He wiped clean the vessels and walked around the stove, adding wooden blocks into the fire. Occasionally he would disappear into the shop nearby and come out with something handy like a pail of water to damp the dust around the stove.
            Buses groaned past, and motorcycles whizzed leaving him and is establishment in smog of grey; but the flames continued to heat whatever was cooking inside and the man continued to await his customers. When people walked slowly past, he would quickly stand next to the high stove and pretend to be busy making his delicacies. And when they walked off his shoulders would slump slightly and perk up again at the next visitor.
           As I watched him abandon his establishment again, a grandpa with his grandson paused at the roadside delicacy shop. The boy tugged and conversed and the grandpa though not ignoring, proceeded to look all about for the owner. He scanned the set up, it was fairly flawless for the man had spent close to an hour cleaning it, but he didn’t wait for long. Hushing the boy he walked on, and didn’t look back, not even once.

           Maybe if he did, he would’ve seen the owner scuttle back to his place, eyeing everything on the counter to make sure nothing was stolen. Maybe then he could’ve walked back and gotten the fried delicacies that his grandson wanted. But that didn’t happen. The man got back to stirring the oil, turning the kadai so that its contents got even heat. I could swear on my eyesight that in doing so the flames kissed his tanned fingers but the man didn’t flinch a bit. He continued to tame and kindle the fire betting his business on a few glances of the passer-by just like the ones the grandpa didn’t turn back to give. 

When we see ourselves in comparison with others, there's an element that tends to hype our issues and achievements  more than others. We don't see how life has it out for others and how these people lead their lives in full acceptance despite what they weren't given. So the next time out on the street, lets take in the world around us instead of bustling about. It might just give us a reassuring feeling that all's under control with our lives and there are in fact people who depend on us.Our lives are better.

Wednesday, 9 July 2014


The universe moved to an unwritten pace,
Angels watched with loving grace,
Saturn’s rings ran smooth in a starry haze …
Looking above, everything seemed to be in its destined place.

On earth however, horizons were blurred.
The turmoil of the ocean, occasionally stirred
The speech of truth, always slurred
And the fabric of reality was wrongly erred. 

Look into my soul, and all hell’s broken loose there,
Where, half a piece struggles to find its pair.
Lost among the temple of memories,
Lost to a black hole, but kept alive by worries.

This has always been the way,
Suns and moons had to obey
To what direction the earth wanted to spin,
And which of the wars, the soul could win.

This was always the way up until,
One eclipse, everything came to a standstill.
You stormed in, ablaze upon a comet,
And forced the earth to reset.

I watched you pick me out from the worthless rubble
Like I meant something to someone worth the double.
You painted my colorless skies a warm red,
Following a mere mortal wherever her path led.

Now Earth and Saturn orbit the Sun,
And you look at me like I’m the biggest battle you've won.
You give me your galaxy of hope to keep
As you watch me drift off into twilight sleep

Every night, in that state of your utter grace,
The moon tides the ocean to calm,
The sun shields the world from chaotic harm,
And I find all of me under your stellar embrace.

Come morning, things are amiss,
Gone, is the taste of your infinite bliss
Lost again is the missing piece of peace
Then come questions and demands of the heart I can’t seem to appease.

Since you've walked out into the dawn without a trace,
The world falls back out of rhythm and into its rigid pace,
Upon Celestium and your return I fix my gaze,
To come every nightfall and take your place.