Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Salvation through Rain

For the past couple of months, I've been on the edge of loosing all my friends. Most of them are upset over the fact that I forgot their birthdays (I never seem to remember anything related to Math... even numbers). I did take efforts to note it down from Facebook and keep reminders on my phone; but it still slipped my mind.  And funny thing is when they ask me 'Pri, i'm angry with you, do you know why?' I bite my lip and answer ' forgot your birthday?' then all hell comes crashing down. The fact that I knew and still forgot hurts them more. Which leads us to the next reason why I'm loosing another set of friends.
                       If I seem to remember just my birthday (and two or three more) it means that I'm self centered. My intentions are good, but my style of execution has always been a matter of... debate? And so another volcano erupted at my flat yesterday. My friend and I quarreled on top of our lungs... me with a drumstick in hand (as the fight had something to do with the dinner menu) and she escaping off to her laptop. Ultimately it ended up with what?... absolutely nothing other than raced pulses, strained throats and lots of time to reflect on what we did. The fight faded into silent dinner and night took us into its arms for sleep a little too soon. But not me... I laid awake like an owl. At night I made a note to myself that I will not be impulsive, that I won't jump at people and perhaps find a way to keep my tongue blunt. I needed salvation from all of my mood swings and there was just one thing that could fix it. Rain. 
                       Today morning I got up at 6 to see the sun cross paths with Venus (rephrase: expected to see) based on my genius friend's warnings. I tossed about in bed lazily then remembered that he said  it won't be appearing again in 105 years. Camera and dark film in hand, I marched out only to find the sky clouded up, no trace of sunlight. Now under normal circumstances, being stood up (even by nature) would've irritated me for the sloth that I am didn't drag myself out of bed for a disappointment. But as I stood there my eyes wandered over to the huge trees at my entrance... the bark was damp. My eyes flickered out from their sleep and I wondered if my prayers had been heard and answered. And just like another answer, fell a raindrop on my arm. I'm not exaggerating when I say I feel at home with rain. Sometimes I wish for it and it arrives. I feel one with the element and sometimes ponder why I wasn't born as a marine animal instead. I felt the clouds get heavier and then it poured. Mum says it makes her feel sad and heavy inside... But it makes me calm. I gleefully let myself get drenched, as if the rain was washing away all my sins (the ones being I forgot the birthdays, yelled at my roommate, and kept loosing my cool) and instantly I felt good.
                        I drifted back to my flat where all the souls were sound asleep.I watched it drizzle a bit more from my balcony and it was as if rain was coaxing me to get some sleep, that it would watch over me and keep me cool headed. Now walking out of my adobe into the busy world got easier. With the drizzling rain keeping me pure, all my senses think rationally before reacting. Thank God I found my salvation through Rain!

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