Wednesday, 18 July 2012

The Enlightened Driver

Though this happened technically to my mother, I have decided its a story worth sharing; the reason why I'm writing it after months is that I stopped laughing about it just now!

Marriages in the family is like default presence or deal with the consequences, so I made it a point to get there somehow. I had to travel from Bangalore all the way down south to a village in Tamil Nadu called Mayavoram. The KPN bus reached the pick up point an hour and half late... but that's a tradition they follow. Our story starts after the bus left. 
              The screens were drawn and the glass doors cut off the traffic noise from out side. The five passengers in the bus stretched out and started waiting out the time.  Two hours passed and I peered out to realize we were still in a place that we should have crossed in half an hour from departure. An elderly man got up from behind me, marched upfront to the driver. At first they were whispering, and then the dialogues jolted me from my snooze mode. 
"Why can't you just press on the accelerator a bit more?"
"Sir, I'm going as fast as I can" the driver replied. 
"40km/hr is not fast! Just look out the window... trucks are overtaking us, cars are overtaking... even the freaking bikes are overtaking us!" I wished the old man couldn't have a heart attack.
"Sir I can't drive fast without being sure of the route" came the reply. It felt as though even my world would crash at that minute.
"What????? Are you kidding me? What do you mean you don't know the route?" The old man raised his voice as well his hands.
"He means he doesn't know where we're going" The cleaner boy entered into the conversation.
"Well do you at least know it?" the old man asked the cleaner boy.
"Nope" he said coolly. My eyes popped out. This was getting weird and seriously serious.
"Is this a joke? I paid to be driven by a driver who doesn't know the route? And you" he yelled at the cleaner boy.
"What kind of a cleaner are you? If you can't help or make this man go faster you might as well go and sleep!" Surprisingly enough that's just what he proceeded to do.
" Okay I'll tell you the route! And you better follow my instructions. Where have you driven before?"
"Sir to Palzani"
"Good. You have to cross Salem to go to Palzani. So first go there! And for God's sake accelerate!"
              With the poor old man cussing and yelling, the bus looked like it was finally making progress. But if he returned to his seat, the driver would dip back to 40km/hr and so I joined and  it went on for hours till there came a fork. One was the exit to Salem, the other was the highway towards Coimbatore. With both of us yelling to take the left, what do you think the enlightened driver did?


  1. you must wait till tomorrow to find out :)

  2. lol .... That sounds ridiculously funny :P

    Bring it on! :)


  3. here you go :):)