Blood Rust

Curtains stripped down, the liquid moonlight floods the bed,

I boldly walk across it,  “you’re brave” someone once said.

Fighting the urge to kill, wound, to drink the pain,

Mine: to taste tears, to see crimson drops, to writhe in vain.

I stand too fragile; not knowing if that is how I appear,

Walk half-dead into alleys, immune to the sun, its sear,

Let me feel more…more of this inching panic and pressure,

I’m craving till it makes me numb, oblivious to all seizure.

Don’t like to be just a plastic doll, want those emotions in me,

Need you my midnight sun to forever be,

With me, to drive away this insecurity from lust,

From hurt, from reality, from those blades covered in blood rust.

I’m trying, hoping for those days to come back,

Every time I look into your eyes, I think there’s something alack.

Have I ripped away all the possible love  from you,

Or have you just started hating me like everyone too?

There was a time when I called my life ‘perfect’

Thought this was why I suffered in the past, that the future was set,

Now I’ve been missing the old you for months and weeks,

A new way of life other than this my heart seeks.

Life starts when day ends and  the room is closed,

I see your eyes, the days when my pulse had raced,

Now I’m just too afraid to go on, without you,

And when you decided my fate this story would happen, I knew....